Why Cant Everyone Stop Banging On About Screen Time?!

We’d be lying if we said that screens weren't a great distraction for babies and toddlers during those times when you just need 5 minutes, or to quell a meltdown…but what if the thing that calms your toddler down in the moment is the very thing preventing them from learning how to calm themselves down in the future? 

It’s no secret, but we’re now starting to see some recognition in legislation.

The government has recently introduced new guidance on children's screen use, recommending no independent screen time for children under two and a maximum of one hour per day for children aged two to five. Although lots of parents might not view this as realistic, it does reflect growing concerns about the impact of screens on children's development and mental health.

Those concerns reached a new level this week, with the government announcing plans to ban social media platforms from offering services to under-16s. The move reflects growing evidence and public concern about the impact of social media on children's wellbeing, attention, sleep and mental health

The way children interact with the world is changing rapidly:

Almost 4 in 10 children aged 3-5 now use social media, while one in five of those children use it independently.

One-third of 8-15-year-olds report using an online age of at least 16, allowing them access to platforms and content intended for much older users.

One of the biggest worries is short-form content such as TikTok, YouTube Shorts and Instagram Reels. You might think, ‘what’s the difference between those and TV?’...Unlike traditional TV, which involves following a story, investing in characters and maintaining attention over time, short-form content provides a constant stream of novelty designed to keep us scrolling. When children become used to rapid bursts of stimulation, everyday activities like reading, concentrating, independent play and even family conversations can feel way less engaging by comparison.

Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation (a must read for parents!), argues that we have seen a "great rewiring of childhood", where play-based childhoods have increasingly been replaced by phone-based ones. At the same time, rates of anxiety, low mood and self-harm have risen significantly among young people. 

Social media also means there is often no escape from difficulties within peer relationships. Things like friendship difficulties, appearance and body image pressures, and social comparisons that used to end at the school gate now follow young people home. No wonder they’re feeling more anxious and depressed! Of course, we know there is no one cause of mental illness, but social media undoubtedly plays a huge role!

Young children learn emotional regulation and social competence through face-to-face interactions with parents and peers:

They learn to recognise emotions, interpret social cues and body language, and develop relationships through shared attention and conversation. When either children or adults are frequently distracted by screens, opportunities for social learning are reduced.

If screens become the primary solution to boredom, frustration or distress, children can miss opportunities to develop coping skills, creativity and resilience. So yes, screens do have their place, but children also need opportunities to problem-solve in real time, use their imagination and learn how to tolerate everyday discomfort!

Perhaps the most reassuring message for parents is this: it is okay for children to be bored! Boredom is actually often the space where creativity, imagination and problem solving thrive. 

Sometimes the moments we are most tempted to fill with a screen are the moments when important development is taking place.

Written by

Kaya Giovanni, MSc