It’s Not Weak to Speak: Changing the Story Around Men and Mental Health

The idea that strength = silence is outdated and harmful. We need to reshape masculinity to include courage, vulnerability, and connection.

Picture this: your mate Dave breaks his arm. Does he sit at home “toughing it out” because real men don’t need doctors? Of course not — he’s in A&E faster than you can say "plaster

cast."

But when it comes to mental health struggles? Many men still hesitate. Not because they’re stubborn or unaware but because the world taught them to be. According to the World Health Organisation, men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women in many countries, a devastating statistic that highlights the urgent need for change.

Consider the story of James, who after years of silent struggle finally reached out to a peer

support group. Not only did his mental health improve, but he later became a mentor for others facing similar challenges.

Let’s talk about why some men are less likely to seek mental health support, and what we can do about it.

The Weight of “Man Up” Culture

Traditional ideas of masculinity can be heavy. The expectation to be strong, stoic, and “in control” means that admitting to struggling can feel like breaking the rules. Research shows that societal pressures around masculinity play a huge role in men’s reluctance to access mental health services. Struggling is often wrongly tied to weakness, and suppressing emotions becomes a way to “prove” strength. The trouble is, bottling up struggles doesn’t make them disappear. It just buries them deeper.

In fact, Mental Health Foundation UK reports that only 36% of NHS talking therapy referrals

are for men, despite men experiencing significant levels of distress.

Fear of Judgment: Why Stigma Still Wins

It’s not just internal pressure. Many men fear how others will react if they open up — worrying about being seen as weak, unstable, or not “man enough.” This fear of rejection can create real isolation. Instead of reaching out, many men cope alone, even when support could make a difference. The shame around mental health issues isn’t just an invisible burden; it’s one that can directly worsen outcomes, including a heartbreaking increase in suicide risk among men (Samaritans, 2024). For example, in Australia, Beyond Blue found that nearly 40% of men said they would not seek help for depression or anxiety due to fear of being judged.

Medical Fixes vs. Emotional Healing

When men do seek help, they’re often drawn to medical solutions; quick fixes like medication over therapy. And honestly? It makes sense:

• Medication feels more private, less emotional.

• It fits the “problem-solution” model many men are more comfortable with.

• It can feel less risky than talking about feelings.

But psychotherapy and talking therapies aren’t just about “emotions” they’re powerful tools for long-term recovery, resilience, and empowerment. More men would benefit if therapy felt more accessible and less emotionally loaded from the start.

Consider John, a construction worker, who started with medication but found lasting change

through a men's group therapy program, which combined practical skills-building with peer

support. His experience shows that combining approaches can be transformative.

Masculinity Doesn’t Mean Going-It-Alone

The idea that strength = silence is outdated and harmful. We need to reshape masculinity to include courage, vulnerability, and connection. That starts by:

• Challenging stigma through honest conversations and public awareness. For instance,

workplaces can offer mental health workshops tailored for men, like Movember's "Men’s

Health Checks," which provide tools for open discussion.

• Promoting broader role models who show that emotional expression is a strength, not

a weakness. Community groups can host open forums, like "Men’s Sheds" in the UK

and Australia, where men share experiences in a safe, judgment-free environment.

• Building safer spaces (like male-specific support groups or workplace initiatives)

where men feel seen, heard, and not judged. Check out online platforms such as;

HeadsUpGuys or CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), which offer resources

and peer support for men.

We also need to design mental health services that actually meet men where they are, using

relatable language, practical approaches, and culturally sensitive care. For example, some GP clinics now offer drop-in hours just for men to discuss mental health without prior appointments.

Final Thought

Asking for help doesn’t erase strength — it proves it.

If we want more men to thrive, we need to make sure the door to mental health support feels

wide open, not hidden behind shame or outdated stereotypes.

You can start today: share your thoughts below what needs to change first to make support

feel more accessible to men? Tag someone who’s helped break the stigma or pass along a

resource to a friend in need.

Let’s start a conversation that matters and work together to make mental health support accessible for everyone.

Written by Ruth Jacobs

Rest to Reset Limited

CEO, RMN, BSc